Loooong Weekend

Alot of things really swimming around my head....how desperate I feel to get a real diagnosis and how ashamed and upset I am to have spent the last 5 months worried (minor anxiety attacks) about my deployment, how Jeff was going to manage the move and take care of my babies while I was gone. I lost sleep and whined and complained (sorry Dawn, Janice, Jolie) incestantly. I feel like God is teaching me a few lessons right now, thats for sure. Either way I am attempting to stay positive--had a mini break down today and got pretty angry with Him. After my mom's death I stayed mad at Him for almost two years...He was waiting for me though:) I know He is going to be right there for us through this, I have to keep my faith! THANK YOU Susan Taylor for stopping by today---although you were speaking for "alot of people" (Rgr wives), I heard the sincerity in YOUR voice. I am going back to work tomorrow. Its going to be hard trying to stay afloat and manage the way I want to and how I am used to. Although I didn't want to leave the kids I am bitter about not being able to deploy and be there for my guys (deployed). Not to mention my "adoptive" boss is deploying and I know he would be very supportive of me here at home. Holy cow, God has something in store for me!!!! I am actually laughing...until tomorrow morning at PT...blah! Signing out for now....Love to all. In Strength, Jenn